Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
