You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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