I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My dick has a subreddit
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
