so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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