Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
