Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
