everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
