So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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