she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
