i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
