i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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