I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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