ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
