Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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