Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
