you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
