Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
