Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
