1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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