he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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