I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
