ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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