bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
one might say we're banned from that church
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
