It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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