bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
