she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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