hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We are two peas in an std pod
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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