I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
