How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
