idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
