I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
