I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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