the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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