I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
