hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
