she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
