i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
