you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
