Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
