Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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