I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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