It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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