hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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