Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
