It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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