yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
