I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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