Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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