Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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(217): View more from Illinois

That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?

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(847): View more from Illinois

We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

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(716): View more from New York

just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands

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(301): View more from Maryland

Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.

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(515): View more from Iowa

We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?

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(802): View more from Vermont

Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.

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