also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
